I'm not a formal advocate. Of anything. I'm generally not a fighter, or a negotiator, or an appeal-writer. I usually defer to those with more knowledge, or deeper pockets. But lately, I just can't give in. I can't settle, can't fold my hands and wait patiently – not anymore. I've found a little fight, I guess, hidden way deep down. Because I suppose that with age has come a little clarity as far as my diabetic life is concerned. I've realized that my life matters, and, more than that, the quality of my life matters. Doing what's best for me is what matters now, more than fitting in, or even being liked, which were sadly but honestly the priorities of my teenage years (and okay, maybe right through my twenties). And now, as I begin for the first time to invest in myself, and my health, and my future by researching and experimenting with new technologies designed to improve and stabilize my life with diabetes, I'm being told I can't have it. It exists, yes, and it's available (finally), and it could have a marked and even life-changing (not to mention stress-reducing) impact on my glycemic control, but ... I can't have it. It's too expensive. It's not medically necessary. It's not part of the approved plan of care for my diabetes, according to some suits in a government office hundreds of kilometres from where I live and breathe. And that's not fair.
So now I'm fighting. I'm fighting for my right to determine what is and is not medically necessary in my own life. I'm fighting for the right to try as many methods as I feel I need to in order to be able to live my life in as normal a way as any diabetic can hope for. I'm fighting for the right to be involved in my own diabetes care, in making decisions about it, rather than simply following those canned directions I've been given. I'm fighting for the right to take advantage of some of the incredible advances that have been made in the last dozen years, without putting myself into serious debt to do it. I'm fighting for the right to sleep without the fear of not waking up, for the right to eat cake on my birthday without guilt, and for the right to carry a child, and create a family without fear that my own body will destroy what I have made. Because while to my insurance company the fight is about money, and what's absolutely "necessary", to me it's about a whole heck of a lot more. So I'm not an advocate yet—but I'm working on it.
So now I'm fighting. I'm fighting for my right to determine what is and is not medically necessary in my own life. I'm fighting for the right to try as many methods as I feel I need to in order to be able to live my life in as normal a way as any diabetic can hope for. I'm fighting for the right to be involved in my own diabetes care, in making decisions about it, rather than simply following those canned directions I've been given. I'm fighting for the right to take advantage of some of the incredible advances that have been made in the last dozen years, without putting myself into serious debt to do it. I'm fighting for the right to sleep without the fear of not waking up, for the right to eat cake on my birthday without guilt, and for the right to carry a child, and create a family without fear that my own body will destroy what I have made. Because while to my insurance company the fight is about money, and what's absolutely "necessary", to me it's about a whole heck of a lot more. So I'm not an advocate yet—but I'm working on it.